It Feels Like This
by DarknessCatchingFire
Summary: Trixie doesn't realize how Dan feels... she's to busy longing for Jim. However, Jim might not be as interested as she thinks and Dan finds himself comforting the girl that'll never be his.


**Author's Note:** Oh my gosh I was so excited when I found out that Trixie Belden was on this sight! I love that series! I was slightly disapointed at how few stories there were though so I decided to scribble down a one-shot. It's about Dan secretly being in love with Trixie but all she wants is Jim. By the way, Dan is pretty much my favorite character in the books. Enjoy!

* * *

**It Feels Like This**

It was snowing outside. Thick fluffy white flakes spiraled downward to blanket the ground in a glittering sheet. Gloomy grey storm clouds darkened the setting sun and it seemed as if all living things were gone, huddled in their homes for warmth.

The Belden home was brightly lit. Loud, cheerful voices carried through its rooms and laughter was in abundance. Trixie sat away from it all on the couch, peering out the window at the falling snow. Her breath fogged the glass and she absentmindedly traced hearts into it before the fog faded away, only to return again as she breathed out once more.

To those who knew her she might appear to be contemplating a mystery. Having a very good sense for being a detective the Belden girl's thoughts were often filled with puzzles and clues that went with the case she was working on at the time. But nothing out of the ordinary had happened for a few weeks and it wasn't a mystery but a boy that starred in Trixie's distant daydreams.

She shivered slightly from sitting so close to the chilly window. It seemed to suck the heat from her body. The movement of her shudders were sever enough that her short strawberry blond curls trembled.

Trixie wished Jim were beside her. The cold would give her an excuse to get closer to him then usual. Being close to the handsome read headed boy was all she'd ever wanted. If only she had the courage to tell him so! Faced with a dangerous mystery she was as bold as could be but faced with telling Jim the truth she was as frightened as a mouse cornered by a vicious cat.

"Come on Trixie, it's time to eat. Whatcha doin staring out the window like that? Do you see a decrepit old man with a mysterious demeanor? Or is the snow all part of a conspiracy eh schoolgirl shamus?" Mart teased his only sister.

Her blue eyes flashed playfully and she stuck her tongue out.

With a smug grin her brother motioned for her to move. "Hurry up before the food gets cold!"

The next day dawned cold but sunny. Trixie ate breakfast in a rush, eager to head to the manor house where Honey had invited her to spend the day.

"If you slow down and wait for me I'll drive you over to the Wheeler's. I doubt you want to walk or ride your bike through the snow," Brian offered.

"Thanks!" Trixie smiled.

Fifteen minutes later they bundled up warmly and headed out to Brian's Jalopy. When he pulled to a stop outside the manor house his younger sister hopped out at once.

"Have fun!" he called after her.

She waved in reply and hurried towards the warmth of indoors.

"Trixie!" Honey greeted her best friend warmly. "Here, take off your coat. Cook's made us some hot chocolate. Dan and Jim have already started on theirs."

Trixie's stomach gave an odd lurch when Honey mentioned Jim. She didn't show it though. She had a lot of practice at hiding her emotions when it came to him.

"That sounds great! I sure could use something to warm me up after being in that cold, no matter how briefly," Trixie responded.

The two linked arms and headed down the hall. Both boys looked up when they entered the room. Trixie smiled at the one with green eyes.

"Hey Jim."

"Hi Trixie," he replied, returning her smile.

She allowed herself exactly five seconds to get lost in those dreamy eyes before turning to the guy next to him.

"Hello Dan."

He looked slightly miserable as he murmured a greeting. Trixie was sure it was because of her cousin. Hallie Belden had recently gotten a boyfriend and written Trixie all about him. She knew Hallie exchanged letters with Dan as well and assumed he knew about the relationship seeing as he and Hallie were friends. Trixie had a hunch that Dan wished it were something more. He must have been crushed. She felt a deep sympathy for him.

As she sipped her hot cocoa Trixie felt warmth return to her body. She started up a conversation about having a Christmas party. Jim and Honey joined in enthusiastically. With some prodding Dan voiced his own opinions as well.

While Honey was animatedly describing how the decorations should look her best friend was staring at her wrist. On it hung the silver ID bracelet Jim had given her, carved with his name. It was her most prized possession. She wore it every single day. It was a symbol of hope for her. A hope that Jim felt the same way about her as she felt for him.

The hope welled up inside her now. She could feel it spreading and gathered it into a ball of courage. With that courage she looked Jim straight in the eye and winked as flirtatiously as she could before the courage was able to flee.

Jim was shocked, she could tell, by the gesture. He smiled uncomfortably. The unsettled look on his face made her heart lurch in terror.

"I'm sorry Honey," he said suddenly, "I don't mean to interrupt but can I borrow Trixie for a moment?"

Honey was startled by the request but nodded. Dan scowled. Trixie stood up nervously. She followed Jim down twisting hallways until they reached his room. He sat on the bed and indicated that she should too.

"Look Trixie, we've been through a lot together. I like you quite a bit," he began.

Trixie fidgeted. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? Her insides were jumpy with anticipation.

"But I don't think it's the way you take it," he went on.

Trixie froze.

"I haven't meant to lead you on. It's just that, there's another girl. She goes to our school…"

Trixie wanted to cover her ears and scream at him to stop. She didn't want to hear how perfect this girl was. She didn't care. Or maybe she cared too much. A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Don't cry Trixie. Please." He reached out to brush the single tear away but she turned away from the contact.

She took a deep breathe and smiled tightly. Instantly all traces of tears vanished. She wouldn't be weak in front of him. She wanted to retain _some_ dignity.

"I'll be down in a moment." Her voice was eerily calm.

"I'm sorry," were Jim's last words before he stood up and left her to mourn in peace.

The moment the door shut she broke down like she never had before. Why did love have to hurt so much? Trixie could feel her heart break with a numbing pain.

She'd always assumed deep down that Jim secretly cared for her. That's what she got for jumping to conclusions so quickly, just like everyone was always telling her she was doing. She knew that now was the time to let her pain out. As soon as she left this room she'd have to lock her agony away in a secret place in her heart that could only be opened when she was utterly alone.

So with a shuddering sob she drowned in despair.

* * *

"It's been half an hour and Trixie hasn't come back. I'm going to check on her," Dan said.

"Don't, she needs to be alone," Jim warned.

"She needs a friend," Dan replied sharply.

Without waiting for a reply he got to his feet and went to find Trixie Belden. He could hear her sniffles from out in the hallway as he knocked softly on the door to Jim's room. There was no reply so he just pushed the door open and entered.

Everybody assumed that Dan was head over hells for Hallie Belden. That wasn't true. His heart ached for someone much closer to home. Someone who'd never be his though he was hers completely. He was in love with the girl who lay before him, crying over Jim Frayne.

Dan felt a sharp twinge of agony for the hurt Trixie was suffering. He couldn't stand to see her cry. Her beautiful eyes were red and blurred by tears. Her perfect lips trembled with smothered cries. Her entire little body shook as if with violent chills.

The mattress creaked as Dan sat down. Trixie didn't acknowledge him at first. She just stared ahead blankly. He reached down to stroke her blond curls and she stirred, looking at him in surprise. She sat up and wiped her eyes.

"Dan?" His name sounded so beautiful as it fell from that angelic mouth.

"Yah?" was all he could reply with.

With sudden desperation she hugged him. He wrapped his strong arms around her. With a sigh she crumpled against his chest in defeat.

It felt so incredible good to have her pressed against him. At the same time it hurt like a dagger to the heart because he knew she was wishing for Jim's arms around her, not his. Dan was certain that she belonged to Jim as positively as he belonged to her, both of them loving someone who just couldn't return their feelings.

"Dan?" she whispered again brokenly.

Oh how he hated to see his bold, brave girl broken. How he despised the ease with which Jim shattered her control when she was able to stand so strong in the face of physical danger.

"Yes Trixie?" He could hear the weary sadness in his own voice.

"I know why you're here."

His heart felt like a jackhammer beating away at the inside of his chest as if it wanted to break through. "You do?"

"You understand how it feels don't you?" she asked softly.

He couldn't believe it. She must have realized how he gazed at her as if she were the most stunning thing on earth. She must have seen how he hurt when she hurt and trembled when she cried.

"I know you felt strongly about Hallie," she went on.

Oh. She was talking about her cousin. Trixie didn't see the truth. The let down seemed to steal something from his expression and Trixie noticed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up," she said.

"Hallie's never been more then a friend to me," Dan told her.

"Oh." With a frown she asked, "Then what's got you down lately?"

"I think I'm in love," he confided, "with someone who isn't mine to have."

"I know how that feels, for me at least. It feels like jumping off a cliff knowing that someone will catch me, but in the end there was never anybody there and I hit the ground so hard it brakes me."

Trixie found herself crying again, without a sound. Dan tightened his hold on her. He wished he could hug away all the sadness and heartbreak. Still crying silently Trixie looked up into Dan's face.

"What's it like for you Dan? How does it feel?" she asked.

He looked at her, tears burning her cheeks as she longed for one of his best friends. He cradled her in his arms, playing the understanding friend. He longed to kiss her better and tell her how he felt, but knew that wouldn't make a single thing better.

"It feels like this."


End file.
